Lingua Franca

tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-236011592011-07-30T12:19:13.337-04:00Lingua FrancaI am the stone that the builder refused...fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.comBlogger501100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1166705628065687572006-12-21T07:53:00.002-05:002009-08-27T15:55:02.789-04:00Another Slovak Joke, because the last one was so hilarious...

An Irishman, a Russian and a Slovak decide to see which national alcohol is the strongest. So they set up a single chair (for a vision test) in a room and start drinking their national booze.The Irishman downs a bottle of whiskey and declares "I can see two chairs."The Russian downs a bottle of vodka and declares "I can see four chairs."The Slovak downs a bottle of slivovica and asks "Which row?

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1164484915711047972006-11-25T14:39:00.002-05:002009-08-27T15:55:22.006-04:00A Slovak joke...

Two Americans walk into a restaurant in Moscow, sit down and order some food and two coffees. After the waiter serves them two coffees, a monkey jumps on the table and breaks an egg into each of their coffees.They ask the waiter "do you know why the monkey put eggs in our coffee?"The waiter says, "I've only worked here for a year, so I don't know. You should ask the chef, he has been here for

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1157664462664708642006-09-07T17:12:00.000-04:002006-09-07T17:30:09.163-04:00Why are you learning English?

I haven't updated this in a while. Mostly because I'm having way too much fun living in a foreign country.This post is sepcifically about my first week as a teacher. While meeting my students, I asked them to tell me, "why are you learning English?" Really I didn't care what the answer was, I was just asking because I want to hear them speak so I know how advanced they are.But I did make note

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1155191497606068562006-08-10T01:25:00.000-04:002006-08-10T02:31:37.726-04:00No one has any common sense (and neither do you for that matter)

And I'm probably just as guilty...We're all a bunch of miserable failures. Failures because we are completely unable to access that which we claim is so very common. It occurs to me, the more and more things I do and see other people do, that common knowledge is as about as common as seeing a koala bear in my shower. As cute as that would be, it almost never happens.Common sense is so called

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1154920735726428162006-08-06T23:03:00.000-04:002006-08-06T23:18:55.736-04:00Where are we now?

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1154476480166147782006-08-01T10:11:00.000-04:002006-08-01T19:56:50.306-04:00So many things to miss, too much to remember and always the constant fear of forgetting...

I am going to Slovakia to teach English in just over 2 weeks. The whole time, knowing this, my head has been somewhere else. To keep myself on track, I thought I would make a list of all the things I am going to miss. This will probably help me when I am homesick. It will also help me remember where I come from. And when all is said and done, it may also add to my appreciation of where I

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1154106076167900092006-07-28T12:57:00.000-04:002006-07-28T13:01:16.183-04:00Rhetoric

Rhetoric? Rhetoric rhetoric rhetoric rhetoric rhetoric rhetoric. Rhetoric rhetoric rhetoric. Rhetoric!! Rhetoric rhetoric rhetoric rhetoric rhetoric. Rhetoric rhetoric rhetoric (rhetoric rhetoric). Rhetoric rhetoric, rhetoric rhetoric, rhetoric rhetoric...Rhetoric,Rhetoric

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1153932916487682772006-07-26T12:54:00.000-04:002006-07-26T12:55:16.513-04:00Huh...

God I wish I could drink booze.

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1152552603229523282006-07-10T13:08:00.000-04:002006-07-10T13:32:07.070-04:00Diplomacy of the weird...

Seems like all over the world there is one conflict or another. I had a discussion with some of my coworkers as to what would be suitable action in cases like the middle East or Korea.My boss has zero tolerance for the level of crazy that goes on with missile launches and terrorist attacks. His strategy of "nuke half the planet", although it might be effective, is hardly a wise or plausible

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1152155423767081092006-07-05T23:10:00.000-04:002006-07-05T23:10:23.780-04:00I need a vacation

And thankfully, one is on the way

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1151475828599998892006-06-28T02:15:00.000-04:002006-06-28T02:23:48.610-04:00Lost Together

It's one of those songs that is designed to make you very sad or very happy. You heard it at your friend's wedding, on the radio, on your computer in the back of your head.You can run a million different directions with a song.Are we actually lost? We're not saying. Just that if we are, we're lost together.Consider the possibility that maybe we are lost, just not together.In that one instant

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150862191841634652006-06-20T23:35:00.000-04:002006-06-20T23:56:31.853-04:00You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake

As humans, we are complete morons.Everything you say is moronic. What you have just said is not an original utterance. There is nothing unique about the statements you are making. You are common attention whore, no different than the rest. Everything you are trying to pass off as a profound thought is one of complete idiocy. This is not television. You cannot walk into the room and provide

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150381561142927162006-03-06T17:04:00.000-05:002006-06-15T10:26:01.146-04:00I've been set up...

It was the one-armed man, I swear.Actually, I'm referring to the other kind of set-up. The one where someone you know is excited at the prospect of pair bonding you to someone else.Now I find this type of thing very interesting for several reasons...1. It happens very, very rarely to me. Usually when someone thinks it is a good idea to set me up, they have been taking long hauls off of a

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150380343533867942006-03-05T12:32:00.000-05:002006-06-15T10:05:43.533-04:00Everyday is a new surprise.

I really have no substance for saying that, it just is.Right now I have the desire to go forth and scream at people, then shake their hands. The two seem mutually exclusive. But I guess I won't know until I try.Get through work, get some booze, get down tonight.Sounds like today's recipe.

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150380123310279442006-03-03T01:18:00.000-05:002006-06-15T10:02:03.310-04:00ALTHOUGH I MAY LOOK CALM

On the inside I'm screaming.I have issues handling my anger. I always have. A couple years ago I had to streamline my life and achieve the calm, zen-like state I am known for. Most people know me for this state to begin with, it just so happens that now it is more-so.I had to do this because my blood pressure was through the roof and my sinuses were about to explode through my forehead. Not

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150380532216765302006-02-21T02:53:00.000-05:002006-06-15T10:08:52.216-04:00Fuck the blog

That's right, just fuck it.

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150381675569277772006-02-19T02:00:00.000-05:002006-06-15T10:27:55.570-04:00It's like smack on film

I am addicted to documentaries. I go completely insane over several different people's attempts to reveal an objective truth, or smash it, or lay everything out on the table. I enjoy a good movie for sure. But when it comes down to it, I can watch documentaries for hours on end without stopping.PBS has a documentary series called Frontline. It is pretty similar to CBC's the passionate eye but it

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150384459598124502006-02-18T00:26:00.000-05:002006-06-15T11:14:19.600-04:00This post is brought to you by a series of dumb internet memes

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150382993308712172006-02-15T04:29:00.000-05:002006-06-15T10:49:53.310-04:00There is no sweeter constant but change.

I welcome it. I challenge my present status. I invite the possibility that I may be wrong. I am defensible only until I am not. There is no constant and I welcome the fact that I can constantly depend on nothing.

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150383243077633482006-02-07T16:45:00.000-05:002006-06-15T10:54:03.076-04:00We are all Danes now.

I found that a particular Boston Globe article to echo my sentiments regarding the most recent Muhammad cartoons controversy. You can read it here.I am a little too preoccupied with outside news to write anything about myself at the moment. I'll work on that.

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150384624036062522006-02-02T02:48:00.000-05:002006-06-15T11:17:04.036-04:00This puppy runs on Satan.

Darcy and Nancy got a new puppy. And boy is this thing evil... just look at it...*shivers*Clearly I have nothing else to write about...Oh wait.I got a new camera thanks to my friend Jaime. I'll be starting a photoblog soon. I already have a website for it here. I will still be posting here, but I will have photos of various random objects and ankles at my new photoblog site.I need to get out

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150382306600198092006-01-28T05:41:00.000-05:002006-06-15T10:38:26.600-04:00Safety in numbers

Nietzsche once said, to live life to its fullest, you must live it dangerously.Today I went to a local dance club. As I have in the past, I hung out with women I knew.I played it the usual fun. I played it safe.Perhaps I need to get a little bit more dangerous.

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150380908732714202006-01-26T04:57:00.000-05:002006-06-15T10:15:08.733-04:00I am the stone that the builder refused...

A few of my friends are very excited about the fact that I am growing a beard.I used to have a very impressive beard with long hair. They were upset when I cut it. I was discussing their passion for my facial hair the other day.They maintain, that I am the best Jesus looking person that they have ever seen and I should work to maintain that appearance.I thought this was a little silly. Put a

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150379784209562672006-01-25T01:44:00.000-05:002006-06-15T09:56:24.210-04:00A random sampling of the population

I was getting my knee X-rayed on Monday.As I sat in the sterile waiting room, I looked around at the 40 or so people also waiting for X-rays. I couldn't help but notice that all of them were older than 55. I know that I'm a poor judge of age, but to say some of them could have been younger than 55 was too liberal a statement even for me.Canada is changing. I am slowly becoming a minority.

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150379703963658572006-01-17T02:29:00.000-05:002006-06-15T09:55:03.963-04:00

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150382232951509082006-01-13T23:13:00.000-05:002006-06-15T10:37:12.953-04:00Reduction in bed size...

I have a huge fucking bed. It is a queen size. You can roll around on it and shit.That is, I HAD a huge bed.I recently moved into a smaller room and decided to save space by switching from a queen size to a single.It makes a huge fucking difference.I do enjoy my new bed. Yet everyone seems to think I have gone nutbar insane. I may have, but this has nothing to do with the change in beds. As a

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150381766070746722006-01-05T03:36:00.000-05:002006-06-15T10:29:26.070-04:00Lonely, bored and ready to launch a musical career.

I've been lacking things/women to do recently. I don't volunteer for anything anymore. I go to work and don't do much else quite frankly. I've been avoiding going out because I have debts to pay and trips to save up for.So what am I going to do?A few days ago, I found a tape and some songs I wrote a long time ago... for an album... that clearly I never released.I use the term "released" not in

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150380462969125912005-12-29T02:53:00.000-05:002006-06-15T10:07:42.973-04:00Flirting with the opposite philosophy.

I don't like to dismiss other points of view without learning about them first. This is the traditional camouflage used by militant, social liberals seeking to appear open minded before they foist their lifelong accumulation of negative reactions to non-liberal ideas.That being said, I will now openly declare a limited affinity for philosophical ideas historically labeled as "bad".Prior to any

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150381007913945892005-12-07T03:49:00.000-05:002006-06-15T10:16:47.913-04:00I don't know what I'm doing...

Sometimes, it can be difficult to put words to what I'm thinking. Especially since I haven't done anything exciting.There are plenty of people who can produce something entertaining at the drop of a hat. I am not one of those people. Instead, I rely on my ability to constantly confuse, inveigle and obfuscate.Producing a hopelessly puzzling scenario is always so much more fun. I am a firm believer

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150384278529758442005-12-06T04:52:00.000-05:002006-06-15T11:11:18.536-04:00The Lingua Franca guide to the opposite sex...

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it is too dark to read" -Groucho MarxIt is a harsh and cruel world out there. At some point, you may turn to the opposite sex for comfort. This is a great alternative to books and dogs, since you cannot have sex with either (without getting arrested). This is the fangled way in which I have made my opening quote relevant to the

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150382686159041632005-11-30T04:06:00.000-05:002006-06-15T10:44:46.163-04:00Support your local independent musicians...

Unless they suck of course.It has been a long wait for me. I have waited with patience, impatience, insecurity and hopefulness for the eventual release of the Polytones' full length album. That day has finally come and You and I were made of dynamite... the first full length from the Ottawa pop quartet has finally come to fruition.I feel as though I have been having sex for several hours. At the

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150379895484982322005-11-29T01:46:00.000-05:002006-06-15T09:58:15.496-04:00After pulling out a collection of tumbleweeds, dust and garbage...

I found my old blog.I feel like someone sleazy and contemptible has just handed me their business card.I feel my response should be to give their business card a serious once over and then begin picking my teeth with it.I'm not sure if anyone is aware, but Canadians are arrogant.In politics, we seem to declare ourselves as morally superior because of our foreign policy and the fact that it

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150383116276467012005-10-11T02:16:00.000-04:002006-06-15T10:51:56.280-04:00Watch out Europe, I am coming to fuck you up...

Or, how I decided there wasn't much left to do here and move on.I have recently placed a deposit on a course for ESL certification so that I will be qualified to teach English overseas. I have done this because I am currently bored with Canada, Ottawa in particular, and because I long to see the rest of the world before the continents ram into each other.I don't really feel like I have anything

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150384118562975432005-10-06T14:21:00.000-04:002006-06-15T11:08:38.566-04:00Lou FUCKING HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD Barlow

Or how the soul of indie folk has been burned into my brain via one of the greatest concerts since I saw Yo La Tengo.Guess whoThe concert was amazing. Although it took place two nights ago, the memories are still fresh in my mind. Jaime could not attend due to illness. That is very unfortunate on her part. Filling her space by getting someone to join me was proving to be very difficult. It

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150383867813204112005-10-04T23:33:00.000-04:002006-06-15T11:04:27.820-04:00I'd rather read other people's blogs

I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm finding the concept of my life as literature boring. Not because I lead a boring life, it really is exciting, but because I'm living it and can't really find ways to put it into words.I'd much rather read about the lives of others. It seems to provide at least diversification of experience in my limited schedule.Karyn is seen here attempting to eat her cat.I don't

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150380803145274312005-10-03T01:10:00.000-04:002006-06-15T10:13:23.146-04:00I am Jack's complete wasteoid...

I am Jack's disease infested body...I hate being sick. It blows. This all just goes without saying. Late nights and drinking have reduced my immune system to a lethargic sludge. Now viruses can breed like a pack of runaway rabbits unchecked by my hungover white blood cells.Like a microcosmic mirror of my own life, my white blood cells decide to eventually stumble forward and kick some ass in a

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150381465051364612005-09-19T12:38:00.000-04:002006-06-15T10:24:25.053-04:00I'm back from a weekend away...

And I get to see Lou Barlow...Better still, I get to see Lou FUCKING Barlow.For those of you who don't know. Lou Barlow is a purveyor of some of the best low-fi indie rock to ever be created. He was the former bassist for Dinosaur Jr., he was the front man for Sebadoh, and as a solo artist, he is absolutely amazing.I'm kind of surprised he is coming to Ottawa since we get so few good indie rock

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150380240912302712005-09-13T02:18:00.000-04:002006-06-15T10:04:00.913-04:00Barely functional... or... yeah...

Ok...So you see all those commercials for axe body spray where men get to get all dirty with all those really attractive women....If any woman can confirm this works I will bathe in that shit 3 times a day.But seriously, I've been bored. So many of my friends have been occupied with other things that there doesn't seem to be too many people left to rant to. Having a girlfriend or female-type

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150380630570723432005-09-11T05:57:00.000-04:002006-06-15T10:10:30.570-04:00Holy fuck i am typijng t5his shit

i am fucking eating this thiong wholeI went tyo the dance club that you all know about there were many girls that errw there. holy fuck it is the gretests thing andf there was some floaming lips playing.watching eveyrone plying and danvcing to that song was awesome tha n was pretty cooli miss thew girslki while taloks some morw when im sobrer

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150382104554597512005-09-10T03:40:00.000-04:002006-06-15T10:35:40.540-04:00Me v. Credon Inc.

I hate spam. I hate spam in every form it comes in. There are not many people who would claim that spam is a good thing. Worse yet, it doesn't just come in e-mail form. People will regularly spam you through chat clients, newsgroups and even... blog comment sections.The other day I was reading my friend Jaime's blog. She had a nice heartfelt blog about recent events. I went to read the comments

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150381297875151622005-09-07T01:49:00.000-04:002006-06-15T10:21:37.880-04:00I must not fear, fear is the mindkiller...

I will let it pass through me...In reality, there isn't a whole lot to be feared in the universe. Fear is a convenient additive to the human recipe of laziness. Not wanting to do something speaks volumes more than than being afraid to do something. Fear means that you don't want to take time out of your day to deal with repercussions and problems that may arise from a leap into the unknown.Guilt

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150382516315568722005-09-04T05:04:00.000-04:002006-06-15T10:41:56.316-04:00Self analysis is masturbation...

OR, how I learned to stop worrying and love the Blog.I always worry about too much self analysis when coming up with something to write on this thing. Like the title says, I'm a firm believer that self analysis is a method that everyone uses for some instant gratification. You try to isolate those few points within your head that will somehow elevate you above the muck you wade through every day

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150384816541410522005-08-25T15:28:00.000-04:002006-06-15T11:20:16.543-04:00Touch my ass for POWEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!

I went drinking with Jaime last night...

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150382918231548422005-08-18T02:19:00.000-04:002006-06-15T10:48:38.233-04:00The next great novel...

I've wanted to be a writer for a long time. I know that I can write well when I put my mind to it.I've had writer's block for a long time. I know that I can never dish out any good ides when I put my mind to it.Therein lies the dilemna.The biggest problem I have is that I cannot or do not want to draw from my own personal experiences. For some reason, I worry that people will pick up on the most

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150381191992991192005-08-16T03:15:00.000-04:002006-06-15T10:19:51.993-04:00I invite disaster... it is so much more fun...

I perch a large glass of water precariously close to my computers. I drink alcohol on a daily basis. I don't eat enough oranges. I eat too many onions on my lunch break. I continue to talk to my ex-girlfriend despite the intense discomfort it brings me. I deliberately seek out people to make angry when I am feeling disdain for my social climate. I walk drunkenly through dark alleys at four in the

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150383567193269792005-08-16T03:07:00.000-04:002006-06-15T11:25:15.400-04:00You can't handle the truth

Or more accurately titled: you are living a lie because there is no truth.There is no remainder. You cannot eliminate falseness from itself. Everything is as is everything else. The same matter and stuff pervades every aspect of our universe. Why do you cut apart the everything and distinguish a small something as separate from the everything?Is it not better to keep the connection? Is it not

fhjvbdfivjhbnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23601159.post-1150380024916293472005-08-15T04:25:00.000-04:002006-06-15T10:00:24.916-04:00Also: Everything people do is ridiculous...