Diplomacy of the weird...

Seems like all over the world there is one conflict or another. I had a discussion with some of my coworkers as to what would be suitable action in cases like the middle East or Korea.

My boss has zero tolerance for the level of crazy that goes on with missile launches and terrorist attacks. His strategy of "nuke half the planet", although it might be effective, is hardly a wise or plausible course of action.

Continuing the discussion afterwards with the another coworker, I presented her with a novel idea...

Bananas and Play-Doh

At first she thought I was joking. I'm not. Strip down and eliminate these problems with nothing but bananas and Play-Doh.

Here's WHY

First it starts with the buildup... hostilities and threats. Weapons get developed and threats are made to use them followed up by threats of what will happen if they get used followed by use then threats and then more threats, more mud flinging, rattling the sabre etc., etc., etc.

All the while, hostilities, violence and terrorism.

Well, next time someone does something stupid, send them bananas and Play-Doh. Bananas are good for you. They are a vital source of potassium, fibre and an essential for smoothies. Whether that smoothie is alcoholic or not is up to you. Play-Doh, well, that's just fun all around. It comes in multiple colours and it is squishy. You can make a really cool duck with Play-Doh.

Now this is all ridiculous, of course it is, that's the point.

Let's consider how this diplomacy would work in action.

Kim Jong-Il: AHAHAHAHA Mr. Bush, I have launched my large phallic missiles!!
Bush: Cool, here's some bananas and Play-Doh.
Kim Jong-Il: Errr... aren't you going to threaten me with dire consequences.
Bush: Nope, I just felt you could use some more potassium.
Kim Jong-Il: Come ON! Threaten me back so I can declare my intention to ANNIHILATE THE UNITED STATES!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!1111ONEONEONELEVENTEEN
Bush: Check out this cool duck I made with your Play-Doh... you should totally try this shit...
Kim Jong-Il: FUCK!!!!

Aside from a few other world leaders thinking you're insane, you could probably get away with all of this. Because really, if you just ignore everything another nation does, then when they try and provoke you, all you do is send them fruit and squishy shit, that would probably fuck with them more than anything else.