Me v. Credon Inc.

I hate spam. I hate spam in every form it comes in. There are not many people who would claim that spam is a good thing. Worse yet, it doesn't just come in e-mail form. People will regularly spam you through chat clients, newsgroups and even... blog comment sections.

The other day I was reading my friend Jaime's blog. She had a nice heartfelt blog about recent events. I went to read the comments about the post and found this...

Anonymous said...
A fantastic blog. Keep it up.
Don't miss visiting this site about how to buy & sell
career advice on interest free credit;
pay whenever you want.

Fucking hell...

Not only is this intrusive, but it is disturbing because it has absolutely nothing to do with anything in the post.

I went to the website. They are some crazy group of fanaticals with some kind of online barter/credit system (read: another way to scam people). Which is ridiculous in principle. Not only that, but the creators have links to, and advocate some kind of spiritual liberation involved in the whole process (read: they are wackos who feel their wacko business has some religious predilection/basis/fuckwad explanation).

Not only do I not like spam, but I hate boneheaded scam operations. On top of that, they are a boneheaded scam operation with a religious/spiritual backdrop. You have your spirituality, fine. But to try and spread that spirituality by typical, snot-nosed, back door, marketing techniques, well you are scum and I hate you for it.

Reading their site, I thought back to the times where Jehovah's witnesses or salespeople would come to the door. Being the anal, redirector that I am, I would reverse the situation on them and try to sell them something or convert them to my religion. All of which would be made up on the spot of course.

Borrowing from this, I decided to spam the spammers, and spit off this message to Credon Inc. For the info of readers, CDB dollars are the fictional online credits that they want to scam you with.

To: support@credoninc.com

Subject: God gave us Hamburger helper

Greetings!

I have been referred to your website by external forces not my own! I owe you a great debt and thanks to your system. I require information that will keep me from being at odds with the universe that surrounds me. Allow my explanations.

I have had concerns that my home based business of sweaters for kittens has caused me grief in my spirituality because I have been using the imperfect method of "Canadian dollars" and "Rubles" to make transactions that neither satisfy or assist with the harmony of the universe. Long have I been searching for a barter system that uses the advantageous method of recreating a spiritual transaction in the very spiritual world of the interweb. My search has been an arduous one because my computer has been unable to use search engines for a long time. I have tried typing in random web addresses to find what I seek but domains like http://www.howwouldjesustransact.org do not exist.

I have been referred to your site by a friend who is using your service and he has highly recommended you. I would like to use this site as well. I have some simple questions to ask, then I would like to navigate the complexities of my kitten sweaters and my profitable business entirely through the Credon Inc. monetary fashion.

1. When I make my business fully compatible with CBD dollars, can I pay all my employees only in CBD dollars so they can use their staff discount online in CBD dollars?
2. Can I meet other successful users of CBD dollars and then form charities to assist my communities by accepting donations in CBD dollars?
3. Can I post the prices for my sweaters on my website in "Canadian dollars" and CBD dollars so that people may see the flaws of existing currency and come and make purchases in CBD dollars?
4. Can CBD dollars be used by citizens of Cleveland, Utah and Denmark since these are the places where most of my business is done?

I am very happy to be starting the world of CBD dollars for use as a heavenly way to transact my businesses. I believe that all will be thankful if I am able to make my product available this way... even me!

Echoing the response of spiritual actions,
The iguana bites those who do not accept heavenly marketing,
Danny Goodall

I'm not sure that much will ever come of it, but it was fun anyway.